Hi. My name is Melanie Pieper, and I’m an idiot.
I know what you’re
thinking. “No, Melanie, you’re not an idiot. You’re probably the smartest
person in all the world and also so talented.” Yep. Definitely what you were
thinking. You guys are too kind.
But I’m not referring to my brainpower, although sometimes I
do stupid things. I’m talking about my relationship with God.
See, over and over and OVER, God has proven His faithfulness
in my life. He is faithful in all things. For the past five summers, I have
gone on five-week mission trips. These trips are expensive. Thankfully, my God
is the God who provides. Never once has there been a year where I could not go
because of money. There have been times in school where I am overwhelmed by a
seemingly never-ending pile of homework and assignments due. I am filled with
such anxiety and stress that I’m about to cry at any moment. Yet, God gives me
the strength to persevere, and He provides.
I’m at the halfway point in my first semester at college,
and it’s starting to get a bit overwhelming. It’s as if right after I complete
an assignment, there are five more directly behind it. I think I put more
pressure on myself to succeed than anyone else does. I have a selfish desire to
be complimented on my success. I’m thirsty for attention and well-wishes. I
want to be admired and loved.
But in reality, the cry of my heart is to bring God the
glory. What if I can bring more glory to Him through a B than through an A? Confession:
I had a hard time even typing that statement. I want to do well. But I want to
do well in school to glorify Christ, not to glorify myself.
Okay, that was a sidebar. Back to the part about me being
overwhelmed with school. I had a bit of a breakdown on Sunday as I thought
about all the things I had to do and that it was JUST THE FIRST SEMESTER like
holy poop, I’ve got a long way to go. But then the Lord reminded me of His
faithfulness. In church earlier that day we sang a song that said, “I will look
back and see that you are faithful. I’ll look ahead, believing you are able.” I,
along with the rest of the congregation, sang this whole-heartedly, eyes closed
and hands raised.
But do I really believe that? Do I live out my life with a
heart at rest, knowing my God is faithful? He is constant. He is
never-changing. Looking back at my life and all of the situations where God has
been faithful (literally everything), how can I doubt that He will not continue
to be faithful? Even when I am faithless and I doubt His character, He remains
faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).
Sometimes the outcome is not what we hope for. Sometimes I
get a B instead of an A. Sometimes I don’t get what I want. I do know that God
will supply all of my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus
(Philippians 4:19). The goodness and faithfulness of God is not nullified
because I don’t get what I want (Daniel 3:18).
So no matter what situation you are in, be confident that
God is faithful and there is nothing that can change that. Ever. Like for real.
I know that God is good ALL the time. I know that there is nothing I can do to
make Him love me more, and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less.
I will continue to rest on that promise. Even when I’m an idiot and forget
about the countless times He has shown His faithfulness.
Stay unashamed of the gospel.
“No, in all these things we are more
than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that
neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to
come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans
8:37-39 ESV).
